Emotional Calculus

This has been quite a revealing month for me personally. Larry Bolden from Atlanta (www.wellspringgroup.org) came to serve the national pastors in Bosnia-Herzegovina and teach a seminar called "Battle for Men's Hearts". Fortunately Larry was able to stay an extra week and open the seminar up for ex-pats living in the area. I wasn't sure what to expect from this men's conference as I've attend others in the past with little results. Larry's seminar was really trying to help us get at the energy and desires behind our actions instead of dealing with behavioral issues. I went through a myriad of emotions during the five days from sorrow to anger to joy. In the end when asked how the week was I explained that it was "emotional calculus". I think I had resigned myself to being an emotional halfwit, but instead discovered that I have much more to offer those around me than I had imagined. The biggest encouragement at the conference was hearing over and over again from other Christian workers how many difficulties they had experience living here in Bosnia. In fact in 2007 alone over 10 missionaries have returned home (exactly what Stacy and I were thinking of doing). It might seem strange to be encouraged by others difficulties, but what I had realized is that it's not that I'm not fit for being a missionary here in Bosnia, but that it's just plain difficult to live here. Nonetheless, Stacy and I are considering a 9 month sabbatical next fall to do some decompressing, fund-raising, and (hopefully) have a second child in the states.